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Saturday 5 April 2014

An update on life without the smokes

An update on life without the smokes.

Almost two weeks down, I have broken out on a couple of occasions. But for once instead of giving up and seeing mysef as a failure and going back to my 20 a day habit, I saw it as another opportunity to get back on that wagon.


So up she hops and rides the oxygen trail again. And guess what. Already I can see and feel differences.

For starters my skin tone has changed dramatically, I especially notice it in my hands as the hands are the part of me I see most, on the keyboard. No more orange and purple spots. Nice pink fingers. Healthy looking ones. It's a small little change but one I see so frequently that it's encouraging.

Even stranger, I thought I'd be like the demon bitch from hell, but in fact I find I am calmer than usual. When something goes wrong, instead of reaching out for the smokes in agitation and getting all tetchy, I find I can stop and look at the situation. The need for the cigarette used to over rule all else. And if I wasn't in a situation to have that smoke, I would end up snapping or shouting.

I feel much better about myself. I don't feel like an unwilling slave to something I hated or a failure. Every trigger I pass is a success. It might be temporary and I might fall at the next hurdle but what the hell, it's a success for now, and it's nice to focus on the good instead of the bad.

One bad thing though, all the propaganda about quitting smoking says food will taste better. I am afraid I don't agree. Most of the things I love have now too strong a flavour. I'm sure in time I'll get to like the stronger flavours but for now it's a bit icky. I tried a beer last night and it was not nice. At all. Strong and unpleasant. I haven't tried wine yet, but I'm gonna be majorly pissed off if that's unpleasant too. Even my favourite mint chocolate bars are too strong in taste - not good. And my beloved coffee....lets not even go there.

Oh, yeah. You can't talk about quitting the smokes without talking about the weight thing. I have put on one and a half kilos in the last two weeks. Or about three pounds, in US measurements. I'm fine with this for now as I tended to smoke rather than eat and was underweight anyway but there is a limit to how much of that I will be able to carry. I just hope the increased energy will mean I am willing to work it off as I am definitely eating a hell of a lot more (breakfast for starters, not to mention grazing all day long).

I haven't a clue if I'll succeed long term or not, but for now, I am grateful for each cigarette I don't smoke and for the eighty euro plus that I have saved since taking control. Time will tell, and I'm hoping that by quitting I will be buying more time.

If anyone has their own quitting stories to share I would love to hear them.



 


16 comments:

  1. Yay for you, Tara! That's a wonderful accomplishment!

    Not sure if you have them, but what about stashing foodstuffs that have little to no calories around to munch on? (vegies, fruit...oh, celery's a good one. It takes more calories to chew than is in it :)

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    1. Thanks Thianna.

      Yum to celery and carrots etc, but then I want the dips! You're right though, I will have to rethink my snack foods in a little while. It's all very well gaining a little weight but it can so easily turn into another problem.

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  2. Yay :D That's great news! I've been wondering how you were doing. Keep at it!

    And yeah, I'd echo what Thianna said. Maybe graze throughout the day on healthier snacks. Not that it has very much less calories... but what about nuts? :)

    You can do it! :D

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    1. Aw, Thanks Pao. I'm beginning to think I can do it, for the first time ever.
      About the nuts....now is not a good time to be a whole almond, not in this house anyway as I seem to be getting through bucket loads of them. But they taste so good, actually nuts are the one thing that taste better.

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  3. Keep up the good work. You're doing great!

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  4. Good job, Tara! Quitting is no mean task, I can tell you from my experience 21 and 1/2 years ago. I'm really proud of you for being willing to not blow up--I was not always successful with that part, even with two kids at home watching. I took up chewing gum to try and keep the weight off. One thing I remember that might help you out some: the more intense flavors will stop bothering you and will become normal, even coffee. Don't experiment with chocolate for a couple more weeks and then make sure someone else has control of it. It really does taste that much better! Start working out now--the increased endorphins will help overcome cravings. Drink lots water. Remember how many of us out here support you and Don't Give Up. I and so many others are so proud of you! I'll keep checking in (I've been really busy with art stuff since the beginning of the year), so you can count on someone who's been there to step in and stand beside you. You're doing great!

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    1. Thanks a million Sher. It is great to know that the flavours will ease off. And I know you're right about the exercise too. I just need to take that first step and get back into the pool or go to the gym. I was swimming a couple of miles a week last year, but after a headcold I got lazy. Bad, bad, bad! Back to it.
      It's a great incentive to know that I will have to post here and account for myself once in a while. It amazes me how kind and supportive everyone is.



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  5. That is awesome Tara! Keep it up. Only sad beer wasn't yum... I bet that will come back though. You are Irish after all...

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    1. Thanks Natasha :D
      You'll be glad to know I managed to suffer a white wine spritzer last night. All is not entirely lost. But the neat wine was yuk. I guess I'll just have to compromise.

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  6. Great job Tara! I think the best thing is that you are not feeling like all hope is lost when you give in and succumb to one cigarette. I think it is a process and you are doing fine! I am also sad for you about the beer. I think maybe you need to switch up what you're drinking. I can talk beer for hours...

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    1. Thanks Casey.

      I'm sad about the beer too, but the good people who have done this before me tell me that taste gets better and I am holding out in the hope it's not one of those myths...

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  7. Good for you. Sounds like you have the right frame of mind to keep succeeding! :)

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    1. Thank you, Normandie. To keep trying anyway!

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    2. Thanks, Normandie. I'll keep trying anyway!

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  8. Glad I saw your post on triberr. I wanted to come over and give you a big *High-Five*. As a smoker I know how treacherous quitting this habit can be. I've still not been successful, but I certainly do draw encouragement from you in being such. Thank you so much for bring out and sharing the positive results you have experienced so far.
    About the coffee.. just make it a tad bit weaker until your taste buds normalize again ☺
    Major congratulations on your continued efforts and success, Tara!

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