Round table discussion: Submission.

Submission - In or out of the bedroom or both? This is the topic being discussed by the knights of the Round Table today and I was kindly give a slot to add my two cents worth. ( A smart person would say my opinion isn't even worth that much ;) )


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Round Table discussion on spanking romances

Hmm, I think I’ll start this article with a conversation I had with the other half (hereinafter referred to in that wonderful term used here by spouses all the time…Himself, wives being Herself.

Himself  generally would prefer not to know what his bad brat of a wife is writing about but every so often he might “ask how’s it going” or “what are you up to now”  or I might mention something in passing, or get his opinion on a scene or something like that. Anyway, this was one such brief conversation:

Himself: “What are you working on now?”

Me: “Natasha is hosting a discussion on submission and I said I’d do an article.”

Himself, (with a derisory laugh):” Submission, what the feck would you know about that?”

Àt first I got all huffy and sulky – had he no value on my obedience dans la chambre?

“So what the hell was going on here for the last number of years?” I wanted to scream at him (yeah, I know, just proving his point that I know nothing about submission, gah I hate it when he’s right.)

Accepting that he might have a point, I thought right, instead of huffing, let’s start with the dictionary: (full sure I’d be able to bring himself proof of my submissiveness)

To Submit as per dictionary.com 

1.       to give over or yield to the power or authority of another 

Ha ha ha, I’m still laughing…what power? what authority???? I didn't even get to read any further than the first definition. And that is in no way meant to be disrespectful to himself. It’s just the way I see it. We’re equals, in a partnership. We make decisions either together, if they’re important enough to warrant discussion, or if they’re small day to day things we make uni-lateral decisions, like what’s for dinner or I need a new kettle. Himself tells me I’d argue my way out of a paper bag, and that too is true.

So I got to thinking – are Irish women submissive in general? I think overall probably not.

A little bit of history.

The Irish state was formed in the early 1920’s and with it came a very fundamentalist Catholic rule. Women were put in their places and God forbid you were “loose,” that was often punishable by incarceration in a Magdalene laundry.

Added to the moral repression, there was a dreadful recession following independence and as a result, in order to ensure that the jobs were spread around among as many families as possible, the “marriage ban” was imposed, which effectively meant that all women civil servants and teachers  had to give up their jobs upon the event of their marriage. This was introduced in 1932 and continued until 1958. There was also a law allowing the employment of women in industry be restricted and controlled. Women became economically dependent on their husbands. And if there was a problem of marital disharmony, women spoke to the priest, usually in confession, and were basically told: "this is your lot, get on with it."

And yet I would swear that this country is a matriarchal society in the main. So for women to survive and thrive they often had to appear submissive, but all the while maintaining a kind of underhand control.

Certainly nowadays, I’d be hard pushed to find a truly submissive woman among my Irish friends. But we grew up in the late 70’s early 80’s when things had changed. And then to be a woman was becoming better and better, until probably the pinnacle when we had two female Presidents of Ireland in a row from 1997 to 2011. And the era of Mna na hEireann – [the women of Ireland] was born.

So to sum it all up…what does submission mean to me?

To be honest for me it’s a kink, a hot exciting one but just that. I wouldn’t want it to be anything else because women have fought too long and hard to gain equality in this country and that fight is still fresh in our minds and the status quo is kind of still being established in many ways.  So my desire to submit sexually will stay just that. I couldn’t in good conscience undo the good work of many and nor would I want to.

I adore reading about dominant men and submissive women, it excites me to no end. I also prefer to be submissive in certain aspects of my relationship, but they are limited to play rather than a real lifestyle.

I totally admire anyone who chooses to live the life more fully than I choose to.  It would be much harder to live it in this day and age where we’re all expected to be hard core feminists and equal opportunists etc.  and I imagine many submissives probably have to fight for their right to choose that life, and probably spend a lot of their lives hiding it, just like women had to fight for equality and take it by stealth.

But for me, personally, I want a strong man, yes, because he has to be able to take me on, earn and keep my respect, but not someone who expects me to kneel before them in everyday life because I could never do that. I see submission as a gift to be offered on the terms of the submissive, as it is hers (his) to give.  A good Dominant will recognise the subs parameters and try to bring the sub to all the limits they can comfortably deal with. And a good Dominant will also recognise that just because a submissive offers certain gifts, it does not make the sub any less worthy a person, or their opinions or thoughts any less valid, or their brain less functional.

But back to the original question...Submission- for me - in or out of the bedroom or both? Well I'll go along with it in the bedroom, kitchen, living-room, bathroom, garden, restaurant,pub, where-ever but only as long as its for mutual fun,

Oh and please do feel free to comment, even if it's to be like himself and tell me I know nothing about submission!