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Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Patrick Rossi Author of a brilliant new black comedy Three Men on a Bender comes to visit

It gives me great pleasure to welcome a brand new author, Patrick Rossi to my blog. Just over a year ago, we were both on a BETA reader site together, gleaning what advice we could from more experienced hands and polishing our scripts. Like many of the crew, we aided, abetted and encouraged one another and seeing Patrick’s book published is just as exciting for me as it was to see my own. Patrick has also the distinction of being the first non erotica or spanking fiction writer that has ever been featured here.  Three Men on a Bender is a dark comedy, and when I first read it I laughed ‘til the tears ran down my face. I even woke up laughing a couple of mornings when I had been reading before going to sleep. It’s a book that will keep you laughing all the way through, while still sucking you right in with a thrilling and gripping story of murder and intrigue.

Welcome, Patrick. It’s so great to be hosting you on your first release.  Perhaps you might like to tell the readers a little about Patrick Rossi and how you came to write your first book?

Well, Patrick Rossi was born in Ireland, then lived in Belgium, Paris, Torino, New Jersey, South Africa and Switzerland THEN I turned 21..and found myself in Italy (native country).
Now, I was born an author. The only question was: What language should I write in.  For example, when I was in Italy the first years, I figured let me write in Italian...then only after I finished the book did I realize there are only 5 humouristic publishers in Italy. So then I wrote a completely new one in English but thought it would be too much trouble sending a full manuscript to America. So, then I decided to write in Italian, but in the Italian language there are 17 verb tenses..etc.etc..
In a nutshell, finally, when I decided I'd write it in English, I did. And here it is.

The dedication at the start sets the tone of the whole book.  So are you willing to share who the chick called Mila is with the readers? And has “the wife” forgiven you yet?

            The wife, as of now doesn't know about it. BUT rest assured she will.
By the way, I'd like to say her behalf, that she's an excellent wife, and now that I'm writing my second book, she's super cool with giving me time.

            But on “Three men on a bender” being the first one, she was suspicious. Suspicious, of something I still can't put my finger on.
            I had to take a job in Milano, while living in Torino, JUST so I could write on the commune train with some continuity.

 I’d like to say, I do love her very much, and she me.  And I think it's this type of non-complicity which makes our rapport all the more spicy.

            Like when an author thanks his wife to bits, saying stuff like “If it wasn't for her help, I couldn't have done it. She's not only my wife, but my best friend, and my editor...” then I know for sure... she has to have at least five lovers, cause between those two, there's no spice...you know what I mean?

Why did an Italian choose to set his first book in Dublin and the wilds of Donegal above all places?

Well, I've decided to do it in Ireland, cause in a sense, it's the closest European and non-European country to Italy. Let me elaborate. If you merged Anglosaxon DNA with an Italian he'd become Irish.
That's one reason, but the main reason it's because I think Ireland is beautiful and underrated, Underrated for what it's really worth.  I always figured, if I ever get the chance, I'll put it in the spotlight.

What’s next on the agenda? Have you any more books planned?

Yes, I'm currently working on my next one. I'd like to keep the whole story secret. I can't give you the details.  I'll give you a broad-stroke - it's about three twenty year old youths trying to master to a tee, the art of pick up chicks.  Obviously, the story is tighter than you'd think.
And I am DYING to read Tara Finnegan's next book...Cause, between you and me, that second book of yours Mastering Maeve mixed with the first one... opened my “mind” to a whole new world. 

Would you like to share a sample of the book with the readers now?

OK, quit mucking around and give us a damn sample…we’re dying to see it.  And you know what happens on this blog if people don’t behave :D

Thanks a million for coming along and sharing your new book with me and my readers.


So let me get this straight. The whole world wants to visit New York, after the Irish countryside and Galway, but you LADS…”

I forget what he said afterwards. Bubbles of uncontrollable laughter silently and rapidly started boiling inside me. I tried to put a lid on them, but it slid off with extreme ease. The bubbles were reaching my throat and the blood rushed to my face. I quickly peered at Bradi and Marco, who through some sort of telepathy were looking straight at me.
The bubbles I had were contagious.

They stopped looking at me, bowed their heads, and squinted their eyes, concealing an equally dangerous urge to laugh.
I started piercing them with my eyes, which caused them to shake uncontrollably, and their faces were getting redder by the second.
The bartender’s gaze hovered heavy on us.

Bradi and Marco, and I started chewing our lower lip, and focusing with unusual intensity at our shoelaces.
The bartender’s heavy breathing betrayed his irate and anxious curiosity. He was probably wondering, ‘what the fuck are they sniggering about?’

I couldn’t resist.

I spun to my friends and from the corner of my mouth said, “LADS?... Who the fuck is this guy: THE BEATLES?”
A violent visceral laugh burst out. It was uncontrollable. From over the counter, the bartender snorted furiously. “Hey LADS!” The laughter grew in intensity. The bartender persisted, “Hey JUDE!”
In retrospect: I think he said ‘HEY You.’

The laugher increased exponentially. My hand flailed across my stomach as if to control myself.
The bartender then yelled, “Would you LOVE ME WHEN I’M SIXTY-FOUR?”
Again... In retrospect, I think he said ‘Would you love 6 beers more’.
Marco fell to one knee in genuflection and held his arm up in a gesture of apology to the bartender. I’d swear he was suffocating. After several minutes of suppressing and unleashing laughter, I finally mustered up all my self-control, stood up straight, looked the bartender deep into his glazed eyes, and in a VERY constrained voice said, “Sorry, we’re just laughing…”

THIS IS A FUCKING STICK UP!” a voice thundered from the entrance.

Blurb and reviews:

“Belly twisting laughs aplenty in this black-as-night comedy romp.” Ronald Chipper 

“A thriller, a satire and a laugh-out-loud comedy. A great book.” Mark, Leicestershire 

“A real cracker. Makes you giggle like Jerome K Jerome, clearly an influence.” Sean, Dublin. 

In Three Men on a Bender, with cruel sardonic wit Patrick Rossi recounts the story of cuckold Marco, morally superior and short-tempered natural leader Bradi, and himself as they witness a murder whilst on vacation in Ireland. In a series of drunken mishaps, Italy’s finest young stallions are enlisted by the killers themselves to hunt down the witnesses to the murder, becoming embroiled in an ever-deepening game of deceit. Yet it is only a matter of time before the sticky situation they find themselves in, alleviated only sporadically by the appearance of the beautiful Maylea, results in an even stickier outcome for the intrepid travelers in this hilarious story told with a unique brand of self-deprecating humor and sharp observation of man’s follies. 

  Buy on Amazon.Com       Buy on Amazon.co.uk


  1. Thank Tara, for having me as a guest in your blog. Btw: I writing this 'cause I don't want to end up like the 'Maeve' in your book, if I don't.

    1. You're welcome any time, Patrick. Now that you know the rules of this blog :D

  2. yes, well now I do! Ms. Tara F.