Here when we say someone is having a romance it usually
means they are dating someone – we rarely associate the word with a married
couple, which is a big pity. It's taken to be those early heady days where it's all airy fairy magic and fluffy clouds, not the tougher days when the true strength of your love is tested.
But what happens after the romance, the walking out or
dating?
Marriage or partnership, in some cases - When the financial worries, the division of
household chores, the incoroporation of the two individuals and this new third
entity “us”, countless other beings – them
as in the in-laws, and then very often the arrival of new entities…kids, bring
different dynamics and stresses into the relationship. It can seem like there
is no time, or money, left for romantic love.
Not true! In fact that’s when you need it more than ever if
the “us” entity is to flourish. As you get older you realise that romance doesn’t
have to be a grand gesture, in fact it’s more often to be found in the little
things. The occasional or unexpected bunch of flowers. A cup of coffee. Cosying
up on the sofa and sharing a giggle either over some silly movie or even just a
memory or a story one of you has heard. Or as we call it here, talking “shite” –
meaningless jibberish that you’d cringe if anyone overheard. A walk in the
park. Cooking something special. Saying “I love you,” and meaning it. Romance
can be all around you if you choose to open the door to it and recognise it for
what it is.
If you’re in a relationship, think about the nice things your partner did for you lately. Maybe they handed you a bit of cash because you were low in funds. Maybe they ordered in a takeaway or brought a bottle of wine home to share. Did you remember to show appreciation. Maybe a kiss, or a squeeze of the hand, or indeed a romp in the hay, whatever or however! If you want to keep the magic alive remember to appreciate the little things. They all add up. And don't forget to reciprocate, surprise them with the odd little thing too.
Attraction is born from love respect and friendship,
cultivate those and you can help keep your romance alive.
Thanks to Sun Gazing on Facebook for the picture,
Thanks to Sun Gazing on Facebook for the picture,
Love this Tara. I've been with my husband for 15 years or so and we have 2 kids. Our relationship is very different now than it was in the beginning. It's sexier, more romantic but also more full of love - at least for me. It takes a lot of talking and of course we still annoy the crap out of each there some days, but it's better now than it was in the beginning so we're having a romance!
ReplyDeleteFifteen years is quite a time. It's great to look back and be able to say we're stronger now than ever. Congratulations Natasha.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post. It is interesting that so many "romance" novels focus on the getting together, when what happens AFTER that point is much more important. The period of dating is typically only a small part of the relationship. Marriage lasts for many years, and even a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteWay more important, and way more difficult at times when reality kicks in. Here's hoping for a lifetime :-)
DeleteThanks Cara
Reading this makes me remember someone I adored from my childhood. He and his wife were in their seventies back then. I remember something he said one day. That no matter what was going on in their relationship - from having kids to job issues to family problems - they kept each other as their primary focus.
ReplyDeleteExcept for when he was out in the service, they had date night once a week, a weekend at a hotel once a month, and every three months, they took a few days away from everyone they knew, just to themselves to get away and focus on each other.
For them, romance was something they took seriously and you could tell. After fifty years together, their love for one another was something you could feel just by being in the same room with them.
Thianna, that's such a lovely story. It makes me go all mushy. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's lovely to have a romance with your spouse...
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like such a contented statement, Renee.
DeleteMy husband and I are really good at talking "shite"... I wonder if he cringes when I share it on my blog?
ReplyDeleteNice post, Tara!
Gosh does he actually read your blog Casey? Now that's impressive. I love when you share the "shite" you two talk, makes me feel we're in good company.
DeleteSometimes he reads it, I always tell him when I mention him because I would rather he know I am talking about him. I warn him when it has racier stuff, because even when I am talking about stuff that really happened it embarrasses him to read it.
DeleteI'm glad my blog makes you feel like we're in good company. I enjoy your blog too :)
Aww Tara,
ReplyDeleteI loved this. There is something so sweet about a couple who are in love and have been in love for many years - who've made it through all of life's difficulties, and are still holding hands.
Yes, the beginning of a relationship is so exciting as we are learning all about each other, and that's what is so fun to read about.
But I also think that is what makes couples who practice dd/ttwd so exciting. It's that they/we are going deeper and are again learning new things about themselves and each other. And either falling back in love or just growing deeper in love - it's so wonderful!
♥ Cali
Thank's Cali,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree, there is nothing sweeter than seeing an older couple walking hand in hand, it's something you always notice, no matter what you're at. Or a little smile, or speaking with their eyes without saying a word.
It would be an interesting study if (genuinely open minded) psychologists were to look at a representative group of DD/Taken in Hand/TTWD couples and "normal" couples and compared the matrimonial satisfaction ratings.
Who knows? Maybe even the fact that either one has trusted the other enough to tell of their desire or need just means that the relationship is strong in the first place, and then having those needs met is bound to strengthen it. Personally, I don't think it's only about the DD etc, so much as that any couple who work on trying to accommodate each others needs, wants and desires, whatever they might be are showing a huge consideration toward their partner. Maybe it's a touch of selflessness that keeps the magic alive.